All The World's A Stage
by mutantsrocktheworld
Summary: What if...? I can't tell much without giving it away, but what if the bad guys were not what they seemed? No weird stuff or gay pairings, good, clean wholesome fun as Daffy Duck would say ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

_**This is a super-hilarious idea I got one night after watching a Star Trek Next Generation episode; might be a little confusing at first, but please stick with me, R&R!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my soul. **_

_**Mad Hatter: She speaks the truth.**_

_**Me: And my wacko imagination. Go away.**_

_**Mad Hatter: Don't you like me?**_

_All the World's a Stage, And We Are The Players__._

_The Joker rubbed his hands together, cackling. This was his best scheme ever, one guaranteed to put Batsy on ice -_

_An automated voice sounded in his ear. "Pardon, Mr. Napier, but there is a call waiting for you. Do you wish to exit and answer it?"_

_Jack Napier sighed. He had just been getting in the mood, really immersing himself in his Joker persona, but it might be something important. "Fine, fine."_

"_Exit engaging."_

_A few seconds later a metal door appeared on the wall next to him. Pushing himself up from the throne he had designed, Jack unbolted it and went through, bracing himself for the transition. A few seconds of sick dizziness and a topsy-turvy feeling, and he opened his eyes lying flat on his back on a white cushioned table, wires attached to almost every part of him. As soon as the machine sensed that he was awake, it retracted them, leaving him to slide off the table and make his way from the holoroom to his living room, where the call-waiting light glowed patiently on his phone. Glancing at himself in the mirror nearby, he took the time to pull a face and mutter "How boring," at his tanned skin, black hair, blue eyes and a nose that would make any Gotham movie star - if they really existed- jealous, then picked up the phone. "Hello?"_

"_Hey, Jack." _

_It was Leon; he had tried out the virtual reality once as a corny toy-obsessed villain called the Mad Bomber, but hadn't really liked it._

"_Hi, Leon."_

"_I was wondering if you were free on Friday? My wife and I are having a few friends over, nothing fancy, but we thought you might wanna come."_

"_Sure. Is Tetch going to be there? I wanted to discuss some things with him."_

"_Yeah. What sort of things?" _

"_Just some questions about his virtual reality program."_

"_Okay. Well, 'bye."_

"_Goodbye." He hung up and sat down in a nearby lilac chair (he really did like lilac), thinking over what he was going to ask Tetch. The virtual reality was getting almost too real sometimes, but that wasn't a recent development; it had been like that since the young inventor first came up with the idea. When had it begun? Almost three years ago, actually, but he remembered it quite well…_

_* * * * *_

"_You're working on __what_?" Crane sounded incredulous.

"Virtual reality!" Jervis Tetch bounced slightly on the balls of his feet. He was dazzlingly handsome, in his early twenties, adored Lewis Carroll, and tended to speak in exclamation points and unfinished sentences. As an inventor, he was a bit scatterbrained and easily distracted, but when he finished something, it was usually enough of a success to last him until his next breakthrough. "I was just thinking this morning that there isn't any means for - wouldn't it be nice if you could just step into a story and - you could even be the villain and it wouldn't matter a -"

"Hold up, hold up!" Jack stopped him. "Now. Tell us, in one or two complete sentences, what exactly you are working on and-"

"Not just _working on, _my dear fellow, _finished!" _Jervis resumed almost hopping up and down, glowing with success. "Virtual reality! I got the computer to - actually, it seemed to practically do it on it's own, but I got it to generate an entire world! Well, so far I've only built up about half of the United States, using a random generator to make it a bit different from the real world - New York is named Gotham, like the Three Wise Men Of Gotham, and Chicago is Metropolis - but I just tried walking around in it a bit and it was amazing! It seemed so real!"

"Girls mob you there too?" asked Jonathan, his face showing a flicker of amusement. As a man claiming to - and, considering all appearances - be indifferent to girls, he liked teasing Jervis about the way he inadvertently attracted young women.

"Ah-ah, I thought of that!" Jervis held up a finger. "I added an appearance modifier, you can look like whatever you want to!"

"Sounds fascinating!" Jack's mind was exploring the possibilities already, especially Jervis' casual remark; "you could even be the villain and it wouldn't matter…" "Mind showing us?"

Jonathan rolled up his eyes and groaned, his mobile actor's face twisting into a 'Hail Caesar, we about to die salute you' expression.

* * * * *

"This is the appearance modifier. Just tell it what you want, it'll give you a visual and you stop it when you like it." Jervis hurried to the side of a screen the size of a full-length mirror and pressed a few buttons. "This is mine."

Jack burst out laughing at the image and Jonathan's mouth quirked. "You made yourself look like…"

"Okay, so I based it off the Mad Hatter." Jervis grinned at them. "It's fun to play around, make it really exaggerated and different from you. Try it, Jack?"

"Okay." Still chuckling as Jervis cleared the screen, he stepped in front. _I need inspiration. _He felt in his pocket. A playing card? When he saw which one it was, he had another fit of chuckling, then spoke to the screen, which was reflecting him like a mirror. "Let's start with dark green hair, white skin, red lips, yellowed eyes…"

"You say I made _my _avatar look strange?"

"Shhh! A bit thinner. Nose sharper and longer. That's it. Hmm… a different style for the hair. Sort of slicked back. No, no… YES! Perfect! Lilac suit. Brighter. More garish. Yellow waistcoat, orange flower…"

"Your turn!" Jervis addressed Jonathan as Jack saved his avatar, ready for use, and stepped away.

"I really don't know…"

"If you don't want to make yourself completely different, make a caricature of yourself. Please? I want to show you how well it turned out. Please?" Jervis gave him Puppy Eyes full force, the effect enhanced by his slender face, golden-brown hair cut long and china blue eyes.

"All right, just stop it." Jonathan stepped up and studied himself in the mirrorlike surface. He was tall and lean, with a long, dark face and deep auburn hair; he played the protagonist in a television series about a highwayman, and suited it well. After a few moments, he began to see how things could be enlarged, so to speak…

"Much thinner. Really thin. Shorter chin, pointier. Might as well make the ears pointy too. Hair shorter, bright orange… not quite that thin. I am not Stickman. Now…"

He couldn't help grinning; it _was _fun. After five minutes, he ended up with something that looked like a cross between Jack Skellington and a scarecrow. He pressed the button to save it and turned to Jervis. "Let's go in."

* * * * *

"Wow."

"That's all you've said for the last five minutes."

"Jervis Tetch, you are a genius."

"Thank you. That's better. And, Jack, this would be easier if you made your avatar more normal-looking. These fellows are supposed to respond like real people, and we're drawing some strange looks already."

Jack stuck his bright red tongue out at a hamburger seller who was staring at him. "What's the matter, Mac? Never seen a clown before?" He had practiced a high, almost Irish accent. The man looked away quickly, and he turned back to Jervis. "Speak for yourself, Mad Hatter."

The world seemed amazingly real; children rode bikes, newsboys shouted, cars spun by, advertisements flashed. It was a wonderful combination of the 1930's and touches of their own technology. Women wore short skirts and blouses, men wore suits, the cars all had a rounded look, but they could see televisions and computers - albeit black-and-white ones - in the stores. The street felt gritty and damp and smelled of gasoline, people all around them were carrying on thousands of individual conversations, and when Jonathan bought a bag of nuts for the experiment they even tasted real. Jervis located a newsstand and they flipped through a paper, reading out snatches.

Jack had quickly had his fill of 'just looking'; he wanted to start doing. As Jonathan and Jervis chuckled over a advertisement that sounded just as pushy as the ones in the real world, his eyes wandered down the street and fell on a sign; FIRST NATIONAL BANK. Grinning, he looked in the other direction and found an firearm store.

"Hey." Jack tapped Jervis' shoulder. "You say nothing we do here really matters?"

"Yes…"

"See you in a minute." He headed down the street towards the store. The other two watched him go, then Jonathan turned to Jervis. "Way to go, Tetch."

They braced themselves for the inevitable yell of "Stop thief!" as Jack strolled out of the store a minute later, a gun tucked under his arm. Sirens began blaring as he headed towards the bank.

"Lunatic…" muttered Jonathan as Jack went past them.

"Well, we can get out anytime. Just say 'Engage exit,' and -"

A door suddenly appeared in the wall next to them. "-that happens. And then you can just say "Deactivate exit-" the door vanished "-and it's gone. Voila!"

Sirens sounded in the distance as Jack headed into the bank. They walked a little ways down the street to get an inside view, and were treated to Jack striking a pose just inside the door and proclaiming "Good evening, folks, I'm the Joker!"

"Where'd he pull that from?"

Whispers came from all corners of the bank.

"Who's this looney?"

"Is that face paint?"

"What is he doing? Did he escape from Arkham?"

Jack's grin grew wider. He was obviously having the time of his life. A boring job as a librarian, where he had to be polite and sober all the time, left him little room for expressing the wackier side of his personality; this was fun. "I'm living proof that you don't have to be wacko to rob a bank, but it helps! Now, I would like all your Indian Head pennies, 1876 quarters and counterfeit bills. And at least look like you're enjoying it, I don't like glum faces!"

Everyone stared at him, then at each other. Outside the bank, police cars were pulling up as, in the shadows to the side, one man was doubled up with silent laughter and the other shook his head at the newly-named Joker's antics.

Jack tapped his foot. "I'm getting impatient." Raising his gun, he fired it at the ceiling; the effects were amazing. Glass windows and wood shattered and splintered realistically, people screamed, and when a piece fell on him it scratched his cheek, leaving a thin line of blood. He raised his voice to be heard over the panicked yells. "I haven't got all day!" One of the cashiers, apparently deciding that the wisest warrior was the one who knew when to give up the ship, spoke up.

"We d-don't have any counterfeit, but there's a box of Indian Head pennies over there…" she pointed with a trembling finger "and the 1876 quarters would be mixed in with all the rest of the change. It would take days to sort them out."

Jack pulled his red-lipped mouth down in an exaggerated frown. "Oh well. I'll have to settle for less. Put it in a bag, that's a good girl."

Sidling over to the box and keeping her eyes on him, the girl dropped the box twice before she got it into the bag. By that time, the police had come in, but Jack had merely moved the range of his gun to accommodate them and answered "Then go right ahead," to the captain's warning of "We will shoot!" Now everyone in the room stared at him, taking in the white skin, narrow black and yellow eyes, garish suit and green hair.

When the girl finally succeeded putting the box into the bag, she edged toward him with it at arm's length, as if she were approaching a dangerous animal that might bite. Jack took when it was within reach, then spun around and said "Boo!" to her. She fell over getting away, and Jack was still giggling as he headed out the door.

Jervis and Jonathan pounced on him the moment he was out of sight of the door.

"That was brilliant!"

"I just realized -"

"We can do _absolutely anything _we want to in here!"

"I think I'll start out more normal, though," said Jervis as Jack carelessly deposited the bag in an alley and they got on a bus, Jack hiding his features behind the collar of his coat. "If this is like a parody of New York -"

"Don't you know?"

"Not really. As I said, I was just trying to get the computer to create a virtual realm and bits and pieces of this started popping up like it was pulling things from memory. I think the old inventor who owned the computer before me - he died of a heart attack - might have been experimenting with virtual reality too."

"Interesting." Jonathan leaned back in his seat. "You know, I studied psychology - fear and phobias especially - before I decided to become an actor. Perhaps I might resume my work in here."

"I'll stick to inventing." Jervis was studying the city out the window with avid interest. "We'll have to be careful, though - leading 'double lives', so to speak, could have some psychiatric side effects."

"Yo ho, yo ho, a supervillain's life for me!" Jack ignored the stares of the other passengers as he crossed his legs. "That was the most fun I've had in years! Soon, the whole city shall know the name of the Joker!"

Jervis cast a look at Jonathan. "Do you think he heard what I said about 'careful?"

"You know," continued Jack "when we've finished this time, I think we could tell a few other people. I know that Harvey - you know, Harvey Dent, the attorney, my friend - and his wife Grace would love it, and I think my sister Pamela would too. Man, we haven't left yet and I can't wait to get back!"

* * * * *

In a back alley somewhere in Gotham, a casual observer might have noticed three figures disappearing through a silvery door set into a brick wall, their means of egress vanishing behind them as soon as they had gone. That same observer would have seen very little change about the scene for the first few hours after they left, except that the shadows grew longer and the sky darker. Every now and then, a passerby walked past the brick wall, their footsteps echoing through the alley. Then in the early hours of the next morning, the observer, though very tired from keeping an all-night vigil, might have seen a crumpled newspaper skittering along the alley floor. It bounced and rolled along the wall, and then a gust of wind suddenly flattened it out against the brick. The headline was enough to make anyone who saw it look again.

MYSTERIOUS VILLAIN CALLING HIMSELF 'THE JOKER' ROBS THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK IN A STRANGE PRANKLIKE CRIME.

It was caught by another gust and skittered past the place where the gateway to another world had so briefly made its appearance.


	2. Having 'Fun'

"**It's absolutely amazing!" Jack exclaimed, his eyes bright with excitement. "You'd swear you were in a real place; the sights, the sounds, the smells - everything!"**

"**It sounds like fun," Harvey said as he poured himself another glass of wine. "What do you say, Grace? Should we come along next time and try it too?"**

"**All right, but I must insist that you behave in a law-abiding manner, Harvey!" Grace gave Jack a severe stare, punctuating her words with emphatic shakes of her forefinger. "Not like your friend over here, whose first idea is to start robbing banks!"**

**Jack grinned unrepentantly. "It's just a game, Grace. That idea's just too much fun to be wasted - wait till you see what I'll do next time!"**

**Harvey smiled at his wife. "Don't worry Grace, I'll be perfectly respectable. In fact, maybe I'll try for a place as district attorney; that way I'll be able to prosecute Jack every time he commits a crime."**

"**Is Pamela coming, Jack?" enquired Grace.**

"**I called her yesterday - she thinks it sounds wonderful, and that Jervis should try marketing it. She wants to try being a criminal too, so at least I'll have some company."**

*** * * * * * "All right now!" Jervis was scintillating with pleasure at the chance to show off the technology he had set up. "Before we can go in, everybody needs an avatar. Who wants to go first?"**

"**Please?" Pamela begged. Staring at the hazel eyes and black hair reflected in the screen in front of her, she considered for a minute and then began to make changes. First her crop of black hair lengthened to just past her shoulders, and turned a vivid shade of orangey-red. Staring at it critically, Pamela added a slight wave to it. Then she shortened her height slightly, and turned her eyes a vibrant green. She finished her image off by giving herself a very expensive-looking red evening gown. **

"**Eh, Pam?" Jack tapped her on the shoulder. "Are you planning on crashing a dinner party?**

"**There's no point in going around dressed in rags," she retorted. "As some seemed inclined to do." **

"**What are you calling rags? Lilac is always in style!"**

"**My turn." Grace did little to her appearance, merely lightening her hair and eyes a shade and giving herself differently-styled clothes. Ignoring the mutters of "How boring," she moved aside for her husband to design his. **

**Harvey was also rather conservative in his appearance, darkening his hair and tanning his skin, but, as he pointed out, the appearances of the first four more than made up for the plainness of his and his wife's avatars. **

**It took a few minutes for Jervis to semi-explain the equipment to the new arrivals (semi because of numerous interruptions.) **

"**These link your brain to the computer - well, sort of… I think… anyway, it's not dangerous, don't worry-"**

"**Hurry up already, Jerv!"**

"**And these 'tell' your senses what's going on in the-"**

"**JERVIS!"**

"**Fine! Just take it for granted that all the rest of these -" he waved his hand vaguely towards the mass of wires and gadgets, "-are completely necessary and needed and very very scientific."**

**Settling themselves comfortably on the padded tables, the friends closed their eyes (Jervis assured them that this helped their brains transition to the other reality), and opened them again in another world. They were standing in quite another part of the New York City replica, in front of a large building that bore the legend of 'Gotham Police Force' above the door. Jack took one look at it and went into a fit of chuckles. "Pam, you and I have come to the right place."**

**Pamela was staring at him with an odd expression. "Um, Jack, no offense, but as long as you look like that, don't let anyone know that you're my brother, all right?"**

"**I suggest that we split up for the day, and meet up again tonight. Tetch, didn't you mention something about the passage of time-?"**

"**Yes! It's really amazing. Until I came here myself, I wasn't sure if the equipment worked or not - all the rats and suchlike came back at exactly the same instant as when they left!"**

**Pamela and Jack looked at each other, the same idea entering their minds. "You mean," Pamela said slowly, "that we could even spend days in here and still wake up at the same moment that we went to sleep?"**

**Jervis nodded happily. "So everybody can have as much fun as they want without having to worry about a time limit!"**

"**MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

**Pamela and Jack laughed in unison, then looked at each other.**

"**We sound too alike."**

"**Yeah, we need to develop distinct evil laughs."**

**They moved off in the direction of the police station, talking, and the others watched them go with slight misgiving before Harvey turned to Jervis. "Did the papers come through?"**

**He thrust a hand into the pocket and withdrew a sheaf. "Yes! Forged letters of recommendation, birth certificates, degrees and things like that…" He divided it into three small packs and gave two of them to Harvey and Jonathan. "These should secure us jobs. See you tonight!"**

**None of the group, strangers in a strange land, would usually have had much chance in Gotham, but Fortune still has a soft spot in her heart for those who rush into things without knowing their full scope.**

*** * * * * **

"**Hold on, Pam, I need to make a side trip."**

"**Oh, no."**

**In a few minutes, Laffco Toys and Practical Jokes had its merchandise raided; later that hour, a chemical lab lost a number of plant toxins and their whole supply of nitrous oxide. In another half hour…**

"**I'm the Joker! Didn't my bank-robbing get enough press that you recognize me?" Jack glared angrily at the young guard behind the police desk.**

"**We get a dozen wackos a day in Gotham," said the young man wearily. "And they don't just turn themselves in for publicity. Now you'd better go home and take off that face paint before-"**

**He was hit with a faceful of laughing gas. "Well, this should get attention," muttered Jack as the guard began chuckling. He dug a playing card out of his pocket; he had raided two dozen packs from the toy store and had removed the colored Jokers. Now he deposited one neatly on the hooting guard and strolled out, his hands in his pockets. **

**Pamela was waiting when he got outside, leaning against a lamppost. "Think of any villain gimmicks yet?" he asked.**

"**Oh boy yeah. If I can't convince the real world, at least I can convince this little virtual realm that Liberals are evil."**

*** * * * * * **

_**In Gotham time, two months later…**_

**The red-haired woman fixed Jervis with an intimidating glare as he sat down, implying with that one look that he was a convicted criminal, he had been caught red-handed in one of the most dreadful crimes of the century, and that she was the judge of the case, whose great pleasure it would be to announce that he would be beheaded instantly.**

"_**First witness," **_**Jervis couldn't help muttering under his breath. **

"**What did you say?" she snapped at him.**

"**N-nothing, nothing at all." **_**I wonder if I can fix the personality generator on this thing…**_

"**Mr. Jervis Tetch, your records are impressive-" Her voice expressed slight suspicion, and Jervis wondered whether the recommendations from royalty had been going a little overboard.**

"**And we need a scientist to fill in Mr. Pan's place, but I warn you, if you do not satisfy me it's your head, understand?"**

"**Y-yes your ma- I mean yes ma'am." **

*** * * * * **

**Sara Evans shuffled her feet. She had arrived early for Psychology at GU, but apparently the brand-new teacher was starting off by being late.**

**The moment he arrived, however, when the class was getting impatient, they were corrected. "Aren't we starting a bit late, sir?" called a boy from across the aisle as the new teacher walked up to the blackboard.**

"**Whenever I am here is when we start. I am never late, everyone else is simply early." He set his briefcase down and turned to face the class, scanning them with an odd, almost amused, expression. He was tall and very thin, with pale skin and bright orange hair, and Sara saw when he turned to the blackboard that his ears were pointed as well. **_**Weird. **_

"**The rest of this year we will be concentrating on fear and phobias." He wrote it down on the blackboard. "Who suffers from a phobia?"**

**Sara and a few others raised their hands tentivately, wondering where this would lead. He pointed to Sara. "You. What are **_**you **_**afraid of?"**

"**Um, well… mice." She said the last in a whisper, but he evidently had good ears; he wrote it down on the blackboard. **

"**The fear of mice is one commonly suffered by females, the male, if he is at all afraid of creatures similar to them, will usually rather fear rats. Can any of you think where the fear of mice might stem from?"**

**Brian Goodall raised his hand. "Maybe it's because people know subconsciously that they can spread disease and stuff?"**

"**And stuff? Please, no obscure generalizations in my classroom. Do they have anything to really provoke fear other than your aforementioned fact?" Jonathan was really getting into it. After enduring five years leading up to and one year in college of his mother giving dire warnings of psychologists that had ended up in insane asylums he had gone with his second choice of acting to make her happy (also he was rather nervous about it after all the horror stories he had heard about the profession) but he still loved psychology. And it didn't matter what he did to the students, because they were virtual!**

"**Uh… I… dunno." Brian sunk in his seat.**

"**I see you don't." The professor's voice was scathing. "You will have plenty of time to think it over. Your assignment for this class will be to explain possible roots of at least five phobias, and you will work on it until it is to my satisfaction. Next time, do not answer unless you have something truly worthwhile to say."**

**Brian's ears turned red as the professor addressed the rest of the class.**

"**Were you informed of my name?"**

**There was a general murmer of dissent. The professor opened his briefcase and pulled out a pistol. He calmly fired off two shots at the ceiling as several of the more delicate students fainted. "I asked, were you informed of my name?" **

**He received a uniform "NO, SIR!" from the remaining conscious but trembling students. "Very well." He laid the gun down on the desk, within reach. "I am Professor Crane. You are to address me as such, or 'sir.' I will not tolerate disrespect in my class. Now, who would like to volunteer…"**

**Sara almost groaned. It was going to be a looong year.**

*** * * * * **

"**Lovely little place you got here," the grinning Joker said to the tied-up security guard. It had taken him only two days to find a couple henchmen and a target; the Laugh House of an amusment park where the payroll was kept. "Hilarious idea, keeping the money in such a **_**funny **_**place! HAHAHAHAHA!"**

**The guard cringed. Jack had perfected his evil laugh to a bone-chilling cackle mixed with shrieks and spurts of hearty laughter, and even though he was not well known, it struck terror.**

**The henchmen looked at each other nervously. They weren't exactly used to the working-for-the-crazy-villain-game, and the Joker was unnerving them. **

**Jack was having more fun than he had ever had. There was a wonderful appeal in simply letting yourself go and acting crazy, and it was good to know that there were no consequences; he wouldn't really do anything bad to real people. He had nothing against people in general; liked them, in fact. But these people didn't exist.**

"**Hurry up with finding the money Rock, or you'll be laughing!" he shrieked, giggling, in the high-pitched voice that was second nature to him now.**

*** * * * * **

**Pamela lowered the small red rose plant into a flowerpot next to her as she watched the men below her in the field. Harvey was one; the former D. A had just been caught in a embezzlement scandal (convenient programming, she guessed) when he started running, and he had been elected almost immediately; now he was carrying out one of the promises of his campaign platforms.**

_**Probably inspired by Jack, **_**Pamela thought, grinning, as she watched the mayor speaking while Harvey, a rich guy named Bruce he had befriended that had sponsored his project and a small crowd stood by.**

"…**the dream of one man. And he's with us here today…" drifted up to her, then the wind shifted again. A minute later, Harvey and Bruce stepped forward and both lifted ceremonial shovelfuls of dirt. As the cameras flashed, Harvey glanced up at her and they exchanged a wink.**

*** * * * ***

**It had been four months, and it had been covertly decided that they should go back for a little while.**

"**We can't get too absorbed in this. After all, it's just a game, a fantasyland," said Pamela to Jack over the phone. **

"**Jervis would cite that as a reason to get involved. But you're right… ah well, we can always return."**

"**We're going to meet at the museum to open the exit. Tomorrow - well, day after, one a.m. See you there."**

*** * * * ***

**Jervis leant against the brick wall. He had been the first one to arrive at the museum, and was starting to get bored. He began murmuring to himself. **

"_**Twas brillig, and the slithy toves**_

_**Did gyre and gimble in the wabe,**_

_**All mimsy were the borogroves **_

_**And the mome raths outgrabe."**_

"**Hello, Tetch," Jervis started, then remembered that it was Jonathan, just looking different, and nodded to the thin man that strolled up to him. **

"**How've you been?"**

"**It's delightful to have a roomful of people who are required to be there that you can do anything you want to to because they don't really exist."**

"**You're starting to sound like Jack. Well, I've found this a semi-productive environment to work in; there's a truly terrifying woman running my department, though. I'm going to see what I can do to change this world from the outside when we get out."**

"**Hello, boys." Pamela sauntered out of the shadows, wearing what looked like a green bathing suit with boots and gloves.**

"**Nice costume, Pam,"said Jonathan dryly as Jervis made a small strangled sound at her rather improper mode of dress.**

"**Please, call me Poison Ivy," she said in the same strange, smooth voice, then snapped out of it and started speaking faster. "So how was it? I haven't started my criminal career yet, but I'm working up my persona. I'm an evil Liberal!"**

"**That would account for the body exposure?" inquired Jervis in a strained voice, not looking directly at her.**

"**Please, Jervis, for one minute pretend that you aren't from the 1860's. I'll add some tights or something if it will make you happy."**


End file.
